Tools - Walking Stick 2

Ephesians5:25

The relationship between husband and wife is very much like a contractual agreement.  In such relationships each party agrees to give certain things in exchange for receiving certain things.  The relationship between husband and wife is not at all one-sided, but a mutual exchange of giving and receiving.

As mentioned in the comment on Ephesians 5:22 where wives are told to submit to their husbands, there are many people who only point out the instruction for women to submit to the man.  What they usually overlook is the command given to husbands.

What are husbands commanded to do?  What comparison is made?

I think it interesting to note that the passage regarding wives submitting to their husbands is only three verses long (Ephesians 5:22-24).  The passage regarding husbands and their obligation to their wives is five verses long (Ephesians 5:25-29).

Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to “love” their wives.  The word “submit” is not used as it is with the passage regarding wives.  However, if a man truly loves his wife then submission to her will be a large part of that relationship.  Once again, the relationship between husband and wife is not one of an important person ruling over a lesser person.  It is a connection of mutual care and encouragement.

We again have a qualifier in the passage on husbands.  They are to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  The husband’s love must be an all-consuming love.  It must be so strong a love that the man will not value himself over his wife.  He must be willing to sacrifice all for his spouse.

As Christ loved the church, men should love their wives.  Such a love involves the husband prizing the wife more than himself, wanting what is best for her even if it means giving up something for himself.  Such a love involves the desire to be in the presence of the wife, to delight in her company, and to want what pleases her.

It is important to note that Ephesians 5:31 recalls the words of Jesus (Matthew 19:5) and God (Genesis 2:24) – “the two will become one flesh.”  The relationship of husband to wife is a connection of one-ness.  It is a connection of wholeness, and as such requires that both wife and husband submit to one another – putting the other first – and love one another with a willingness to sacrifice at every occasion.  The relation of wife to husband is one of mutual care, support and aid.

DAILY CHALLENGE:  How can you love your significant other in the same way Christ loved the church?

Tools - Walking Stick 1

Ephesians5:22

Ephesians continues to give us the tools we need on our faith journey.  If we will make a lengthy trip we will likely need a walking stick to assist us on our trek.  The walking stick is that tool which helps to support us, aids us as we move along, allowing us to lean against it for encouragement.  Beginning in Ephesians 5:22 we see examples of relationships which are meant to offer support for one another.

Which person is the first to be talked about in this grouping of relationships?  What should wives do?  What should be the attitude?

This simple passage has been cited on many occasions by men who want the women in their life to be subservient to them.  It can be interpreted as a message or command for submission.  But we must remember that this passage is only the beginning of a very lengthy discussion of all relationships between people.

As I perform weddings I often make note of the fact that the vow to “obey” is no longer part of the Methodist service of marriage.  Should wives be obedient to their husbands?  The answer is plain in Ephesians.  Yes.

But before we place females in a lesser position in a marriage or in society, we must first realize – as already mentioned – this is only part of an overall comment on all relationships involving wives, husbands, children, employees and employers.  We must also look at the qualifier in this passage.  Wives are to submit to their husbands “as to the Lord.”

This does not mean that the man is lord over the woman.  This does not mean that the wife has no value.  It means that the wife should be in the same relationship with her husband as any believer is in a relationship with Jesus.

Such a relationship is one of equal value.  Each should love the other and be part of a relationship of equality and mutual care and respect.  Just as Jesus deserves our obedience to his teaching and example, so wives should be obedient to the leading and care of their spouse.

But also, just as Jesus showers us with his love and grace, the wife who submits to her husband should expect to receive care and compassion, as well as the protection and affection the husband is supposed to give.

The relationship of wife to husband is not one of servant to master, second class to elite, but is a relationship of mutual care and support.  The relationship is one of equality, assistance, and encouragement in love.

DAILY CHALLENGE:  How can you make your relationship with a significant other one of mutual respect and care?